How a small decision can turn your life around
Updated: Dec 1, 2018
*Melissa (not her real name) was in a place in her life she thought she would never find herself. Once a high achieving visionary, she had moved states, found herself in a relationship where she was "doing all the work" while her partner played video games and she hated her job. Life came to a grinding halt for her when her father died unexpectedly, her mother had not been in her life for some time.
Feeling overwhelmed, full of fears and anxieties, she contemplated taking her own life. She felt powerless and stuck and could see not hope in her future.
*Melissa was referred to a mental health social worker for counselling. Wondering if it would really make any difference at all, she attended her first session where she was able to tell her story, feel heard and understood and she noticed that this alone made her feel like there may be some hope after all.
*Melissa and her counsellor were able to determine what it was that *Melissa really wanted her life to look like, what areas she wanted to see change in and set some achievable goals for the next couple of weeks. She smiled a little when the counsellor gave her a small amount of 'homework' to achieve between sessions, feeling like she was back in school.
Slowly that next week, to *Melissa's surprise, she started to believe that change was really possible; for her, not just for the person next to her. She implemented the tools given to her and she began to notice that where she had felt defeated, she now had hope.
That one small decision to make an appointment had really made a difference. The mental health accredited social worker had told her that making a change in one area had a ripple effect that would touch every area of her life like throwing a pebble into a pond.
After several sessions *Melissa began to feel really empowered. She really believed change could happen and she was now beginning to see its effects. She no longer felt like "a doormat" in her relationship as she implemented boundaries and her partner, surprised, began to respond well, offering to do his share, not wanting to lose her from his life. As *Melissa began to see changes, she became less anxious and less "stuck". She realised that change was possible and that she was the author of change.
Those changes soon led to the area of her work and employment. No longer satisfied with 'second best', *Melissa began to dream about her ideal work place. Not content to be treated poorly at work, she soon found confidence to apply for jobs that previously she didn't feel qualified to do, even with the experience she had. She also volunteered her time in an animal shelter on her days off (whilst *Melissa was journeying the loss of her father and feeling overwhelmed, she had cut down her days working as she felt she was not coping. Things were different now).
At the last session, *Melissa had to reschedule due to the fact she had secured full time work in the area of her ideal workplace in an organisation that made a difference to people's lives. This was the happiest reschedule for both counsellor and client.
*Melissa still wanted to 'check in' with her counsellor from time to time to feel 'on track' so she planned to make 3-4 monthly appointments, but they would have to be done out of hours. *Melissa could not believe that one small decision had led to her living her ideal life, feeling empowered and in control and as she described 'one top of the world'.
What small decision can you make today that may be life changing for you?
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